Feb 9

Scenes from my Week

goldendoodle puppy

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday, which has clarified everything I’ve been feeling for the last month. As mentioned over the last few SFMW posts, I haven’t been feeling quite myself lately, but I just chalked it up to the frigid temperatures (hello seasonal affective disorder!) and getting over the flu (I am definitely guilty of the “man cold” when I’m sick).
I mentioned a few weeks ago that my mission for 2018 was to slow down, to respect time, and to make space for a whole lot more fun. And while I’ve been very good at slowing down (thanks to the aforementioned flu), I wasn’t fully anticipating the anxious feelings that would come along with it.

I finally realized that, since launching my business, I’ve spent the last three and a half years of my life thinking that busyness = success; and I’m certain I’m not alone. I’ve somehow convinced myself that if I’m constantly on the go, constantly feeling overwhelmed and behind on all of my to-do’s, that I’ve somehow made it. In addition to jam packing my schedule to the point of total burnout, my belief system also served as a defence mechanism. In other words, I’ve convinced myself that if everything fell apart in the end, and I fell flat on my ass when all was said and done, there would be no room for what ifs because I literally did everything in my power to hustle as hard as I could. 

Coming down with the flu has forced me to say no to a lot of projects and opportunities – because they weren’t physically possible at the time. And now that I’m more or less on the other side of things, I’m left with a very manageable workload, and a whole lot more free time. I’ve been feeling incredibly guilty for weeks now for saying no. For slowing down. For being able to make dinner with my fiancĂ© each evening, in lieu of shoving takeout into our faces before bed. Which, funnily enough, is exactly what I planned for this year from the beginning. Exactly what I want for my life going forward.

This epiphany has literally changed everything. I am by no means over my anxieties about having a regular 40 hour work week, but I do believe that all of this is happening for a reason – and am going to actively work towards embracing this new phase of life. 

If you, too, are struggling lately, please know that you’re not alone and I’m happy to lend an ear if you ever need to chat. In the meantime, let’s all give ourselves grace and kindness, and trust that the universe has our best interest at heart, and will give us what we need, exactly when we need it. As always, here’s a peek at some of the lovelier moments from my week.

{above: Sage, really leaning into the whole hibernation thing}

grey blanket | fringe blanket

medicine bag {sparkly new makeup bags, complete with my future monogram(!)}

ps – they would make an awesome gift

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{homemade cookies for a friend}

this is my go-to cookie recipe

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{Celebrating Justin’s birthday at Aloette (highly recommend)}

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{bonus: their washrooms also make for great selfies}

top (old) | pleather leggings (size down!) | boots (old) similar here & here (< these ones are on super sale)

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  1. nikki says:

    Im always a sucker for a great bathroom selfie, happy friday!

  2. Andrea says:

    Oh man that “business=success” thing is SO real. While I am not a business owner I have struggled for years with “Career=Identity”, and that is an ugly ugly trap to fall into. My focus for 2018 is to be more intentional and cultivating gratitude and joy and trying to let go of the idea that a promotion, raise, money or # of hours worked will make me happy. It is a tough journey to slow down and to redefine parts of your life that have been so ingrained over the years!

    • YES. YES. YES! Career = identity is so – SO hard – maybe even more so as a woman. I really love the idea of being more intentional. Definitely something I’m trying to foster myself

  3. Thank you for your profound post. I am feeling overwhelmed and rundown physically and emotionally with too much to manage!
    I would love to chat with you sometime !

  4. Kelly says:

    Slow and steady always wins the race. Cooking dinner with your beloved at night rather than eating takeout equals priceless. And consciously slowing down will prepare you for whatever the future brings. If children are in your future they will benefit deeply from your example. Deep breaths and slowing down to enjoy life are great gifts you give to yourself and those who love you. Glad you are feeling better. You bring such beauty to our lives. And your honesty is refreshing. Much love.

  5. Scarlet says:

    I just love it when you go in a washroom and you they have a beautiful design and you are happy to be in there. Glad I am not the only one that takes selfies in washrooms:) I went in this one washroom with beautiful copper hexagon tiles and I was in love!

  6. Henrietta says:

    My business has the same affect on me – endless lists of things needing doing that I am behind on, a gruelling schedule and just not enough hours in the day to get things done. I am trying to change things – especially since I am getting married this year but I do want to say one important thing (on top of all the work and lists)…. I had a horrid flu last Christmas – I think the first time I ever actually had real flu. It floored me and even when I was starting to recover it took MONTHS to fully get back to my old self. Please bear this in mind if you have just had the nasty flu going around – it takes months and knocks the stuffing out of you. Don’t expect to recover completely immediately…..

    • That sounds exactly like what I’m going through. From the business qualms to the flu issue – I’m also getting married this year. We are one person! I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve struggled too. Sending you lots of love, and will let you know if I figure any of it out completely haha

  7. Thank you for your profound post

  8. puppy paws so cute///

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